Infatuation occurs when we are blinded by “the other”, suddenly the world is transformed from a mundane depressing existence into being launched into space and thinking ‘this is it’ suddenly we have arrived, everything from now on will be wonderful.
It is a short lived fantasy and the more insecure a person is the more likely they are struck by some infatuation of another. The truth is the individual feels so incomplete that the venture is one of take, take rather than give. It is all about “me” with the mind projecting what the other thinks of ‘me’, how fantastic there is someone who likes ‘me’, how everything will change for ‘me’ forever. Whatever personality that previously existed is completely over shadowed by this new state.
Along with it is a complete lack of self awareness as it is all about the other, the self is written off. Like any addiction it is all about self gratification and impulsiveness. The frontal cortex shuts down as the dopamine circuits are running on overtime. It is all about projection and the anticipation of permanent pleasure.
Often long term relationships do have a period of infatuation, and if there is more underneath the relationship will grow but in anger management those afflicted have had a period of loss or trauma that has not been worked through and the individual has no sense of themselves as a person but only if another likes them. Typical is the person who has come out of a bad breakup or who goes from one relationship to another relationship with no sense of attachment to themselves. There are tell tale symptoms: the individual has problems trusting others, is looking to impress, hopes for perfection and at some point totally intolerant of the of the other.
Normally they are very angry people unable or unwilling to look at themselves.