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The problem of narcissistic male rage


Famous people get charged with some form of domestic assault. Are they any different than any one else? Because they were famous they had power and were allowed to get away with it because people were intimidated by them.

Beauty portrait of man looking in mirror

Beauty portrait of man looking in mirror








Beyond that they are  narcissistic males who have never grown up. An early wound of too much or too little attention gets embedded in child’s brain that there is something wrong, something is missing. At some deep level they have been ignored and their whole life is focussed on getting those needs met. The emotional push to “get it” is always there and can never be satisfied. Like a drug there is never enough, emotionally there is an unsatisfied hole that needs to be filled. There is terror in experiencing the feeling of not/never getting that nurturing and going there means annihilation. Sandwiched between is rage. Rage at those who didn’t give it, rage at anyone who resembles those who didn’t give it. So getting even implies revenge, not conscious but it motivates.


Along with that is a male tradition( in just about  every society) of belittling women in some form or another and the dye is cast.


The hardest challenge for men in anger management is to acknowledge who and what they are and who they have hurt There are no short cuts, if something is left unresolved, it will get passed onto somebody else as a repeated wound. For someone famous, the humiliation is greater, they are moving into virgin territory where their traditional defences have been exposed


Being able to see themselves as screwed up and how what they do plays into the bigger picture is daunting. It is a new learning. If they are smart they will embrace it, otherwise they will keep running.


For what?

Source:Toronto Star


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