A depressing report by WHO indicates a very high rate of suicides by men 50 years onwards in the western world. (e.g. in Canada 3983 suicides in 2012 of which 3026 were men)
The relevance of this in anger management is that suicide is the ultimate extreme of depression which in itself is anger turned inwards. The numbers indicate when serious situations occur many men have a hard time dealing with some sort of loss. It could be job, spouse, income or health. Depression follows as the person’s perception that the situation is hopeless.
The man is at a loss of how to cope. The switch from being in control to not being in control can be devastating. One skill that is lacking is the inability to cope with his emotions. Often if he is overly attached to his job there has been an unconscious rejection of difficult emotions. So he has no skills with what to do.
The classic problem is men dismiss emotions as for girls or women and don’t respect their significance. It is important for a man to ask himself at anytime “How do I feel?” irrespective of the answer the feeling is telling him something. And when he has asked the question he can go on to ask ‘What do I need?”When a man is depressed he often isolates, the negative thinking spirals downwards, ashamed of his situation and feelings he hides and believes he has no options. He is overwhelmed his thinking is rigid and throws in the towel “I’ve had enough” Then it’s over.
The same rules apply to men with anger problems, not understanding ones emotions corners the man in believing he has no options accept to lash out.