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“He seemed to have a hate on for everything,”


 

These words describe angry  man with a gun who used it to kill people. It is the ultimate form of  rage, not directed at any one person but to a series of persons who represent something to the individual. It can be police who represent authority, women who represent a new threat to one’s well being, it could be kids in school who are happy when the individual is not happy. These men ( it seems never to be women) arrive randomly like a Black Swan, out of nowhere  and wreak  a lot of damage.

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The nowhere  from where it comes is  a result of extreme narcissism, the person feels very wronged, un-noticed, isolated and obsessed, a sense of entitlement, full of self justification, desperate to get some attention. Oblivious to other people except they have something he wants. It’s as if without the big act the individual feels no identity coupled with intense pain of  feeling like a nobody.

We don’t get such extremes i n anger  management, but there people with that type of narcissistic rage who have fragile egos and intense need to get their own way. They have little empathy for those around, focussed only on what they want. They will have difficult relationships as they ride roughshod over others. Without being able to see themselves objectively and how out of  balance they are  it is unlikely anything will change. They provide a good learning tool as they stick blindly to their point of view  thus enhancing their isolation.

It is useful for a man to ask himself “Where am I obsessed? and “What is behind it?”

Source:Toronto Star

 

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