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Separate space

Some men don’t have enough and some men have too much. Both cause grief.

333 personal space




Those that don’t have enough hang around their woman as a form of security, they have to be with her, they are dependent on her for too much. It often causes resentment with her. Generally women feel they don’t have enough time for themselves as they constant demands at work or at home more than men do.  She will become edgy, underneath thinking “why doesn’t he do something else?’

Conversely there is the man who is often dismissive and does his own thing constantly and in fact feels uncomfortable being around her too much. Going out with the boys is normal and she is there to be ‘what?’ when he feels like it. She will feel neglected, disrespected maybe even jealous.

How easy is it to table this imbalance? First someone has to recognize there is an imbalance and then check out whether it is OK. The healthy person is able to say “I need some time for myself.” and if considerate will add “ is that OK?” but if he is too scared to ask she will find a way to be not around. If he feels guilty through asking then he feels resentful she has so much power, power in fact which he gave away to her. If he is always too busy then their connection gets broken and she ends up wanting a divorce and he hasn’t a clue ‘why’

Any old pattern has a cause and a payoff. If it is out of balance then fear is involved somewhere. The hard question is when this happens is too ask “What am I afraid of?” and see what happens.

Source: Wall St. Journal


One comment on “Separate space

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