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Parental Pity Party

Men complain about their loss of freedom, of the dreary demands of families on their time and find ways not to be at home. There is a new generation of parents who like to whine about their roles. Whining sounds like being a victim and along with it goes blame. The underlying ethos is “It’s not fair”.










We now live in the western world when there unlimited opportunities for people to chose provided they are not encumbered by a family. The latter demands time and hard grind in caring for the children who in many areas have become the centre of the family’s world. Along with this is a declining birth rate which signifies conscious choice to stay childless and free.

The characteristic of the angry man is of being a victim with the power of his life resides outside of himself with some one else, namely ”she” whoever “she” is. Now it’s the life style, which as any parent knows is relentless and demanding.

What is there to do? Does whining help? What purpose does it serve? It gives an excuse to complain. More seriously it gives permission to those to have legitimacy in saying life is bad and difficult and at some level it’s all because of the children. What is the likely effect of that on the kids? They will at some point pick up the negative vibes generated from the their parents and then what?

And then what? The cycle begins all over again. The kids grow up feeling at some level “les than” and look for a better life, which looks like being childless.

There is a disconnect somewhere if this carried out to its logical conclusion. What’s left?

Source: New York Times


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