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Does a More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex?

Women crave an equal marriage, both share in earning money, both share in running the household and share responsibilities. Does this lead to better sex? Maybe, maybe not. The numbers indicate the good guys get/have sex one to two times a month less than the average. There are two competing forces: social compatibility and raw biology.

329 sex and marriage






Today 64% of marriages have joint income, in a quarter of them she earns more than him. The greater the income gap between her high earnings and his low earnings the greater the likely-hood of divorce. The ideal is he does 40% of the work and she earns less than he does. That makes for a friendly relationship, there is the minimum exposure to divorce, but does it produce better sex?

Numbers show more women today commit adultery than before, more men turn to porn. Is each side bored with the other? Have we lost our turn-ons? What are her fantasies? Have they evaporated in his domesticity? Does he feel he has to do what she wants and negate his own ideas? Certainly the challenge in today’s world is in order to keep the relationship alive requires a lot of talk and conscious commitment. When it comes to sex probably there are more unspoken assumptions which mask disappointment.

An intimate relationship requires honest discussion, negotiation and tradeoffs, it means being able to handle the “No’s” and alternatives and “Yes’s”. Sex is a good barometer about a long term relationship, it is the canary in the mine indicating what is and what is not working.

A man needs to ask himself is it working for him? For her or the both of them? if not some talking is required which may be challenging. This is a time for him to ask himself “has he  got what it takes?”

Source: New York Times



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