From November ’til January there is an increase in domestic violence. The cold weather along with other pressures push men into being more aggressive during this period. Much of it is associated with increase alcohol consumption, Christmas, office parties give participants permission (they think) to have more and there will be no problem. Other causes include the cold weather keeps people in doors more, and if there is some emotional frustration, it(the frustration) gets taken out on the intimate partner. It is a time when bills pile up, there are demands for Christmas gifts and people go over their budget and again they their emotional pressures on their partners.
In terms of anger management what should men be concerned about? The key is always to be able to look ahead at consequences, as this focussing induces some reality in the thinking and decision making. If there is any possibility of recognizing patterns of behaviour to see when the emotional spikes occur. What does it take to say when drinking “I have had enough”. Any form of self awareness is potential protection. Family discussions about problems are held on a regular basis in healthy families, putting emotional concerns on the agenda would be novel and probably helpful.
So often we hear “It just happened”. It doesn’t “just happen” there is always a sequence, there is always a cause as to why a man sets himself up for trouble. It is no use blaming this or that, or saying “if only”. Giving oneself permission to ignore the rules is like driving over a red light expecting nothing to happen.
“If only….” That is not how life works.