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In anger  management groups men often complain bitterly about child support rules: “It’s  not fair”   their ex spouses have plenty on money without them or they being bled dry of funds. Many resort to not paying their child support as a way of getting even. They want to make her suffer just as much as they think they are being made to suffer. If the man feels like a victim he needs a target and “she” is in a special place to be considered a legitimate target.

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There may be some justification that the settlement is one sided, but in his desire for revenge he cuts off all support. His wound is so deep that the children’s welfare is not relevant.

Children become the real victims and pawns in the game of daddy hating mummy.

The brutal truth is that one in four children in North America is being raised by a single mom, statistically they are likely to be poor, probably undernourished but equally important, they don’t have sufficient contact with the father.

There is no easy solution yet it is up to the man to initiate as much as possible contact with his kids. The more he can and does for the kids then the less he will feel like a victim. Positive reinforcement will do more for his wound than hurting his ex. Sadly as he isolates himself from his children he adds to his bitterness.

It requires asking of the man “Why do you want to hurt your children? What’s the purpose?”  and let him figure out the answer.

Source: St Louis Post



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