Men with drinking problems account for over 40% of our clients in anger management. They are difficult to reach as there is a lot of denial. Studies are showing that there is a tie up between men drinking at parties and later violence when they get home. Women tend to get drunk(when they do) at home more than in public so there is less violence occurring when women drink than with men.
It is thought that there is a sort of social acceptance at parties where there is a lot drinking that violence and anger are OK. Probably as the alcohol dis-inhibits thinking, then underneath is the need to have permission to be aggressive emerges and there is nothing to stop it.
This is binge drinking, clients protest they are not alcoholic because they can handle it between Monday and Friday and have a hard time accepting that drinking is a problem because it only happens occasionally. However with the binges is a home climate of battering where the spouses gradually feel ground down and depressed. They are in the middle of their own internal conflict where they are embarrassed by what is becoming public, they like their friends and don’t see how to be there in a different setting, they are fed up with the constant back bighting at home and they like to drink.
Until the consequences are fully accepted they do not have sufficient motive to change, always rationalizing that things are not so bad. Getting out of their mind set is not easy but eventually it is not negotiable.