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Negative fathering plus barroom drinking are a dangerous mix, lead to aggression


Male-to- male-alcohol-related aggression (MMARA) i.e. Bar fights

Bar fights are a common occurrence partly because those in bar fights, particularly in the 20-35 age category, think that is the normal thing to do. Anger management clients who are binge drinkers, claim loudly they are not alcoholics and they only have the problem in bars. A classic minimizing and dismissing of the event.

 227 angry fathering

 

 

 

 

 

In order for boys to be men requires some demonstration of masculinity. Punching someone in the face does just that. Alcohol makes their judgment awful. “They become focused on the moment, have poorer decision-making skills, and interpret social situations incorrectly. All of which mean they are more likely to be both perpetrators and victims of violence.”

Having an abusive and aggressive father is  a great apprenticeship for this. Firstly the boy gets rejected by the father and  secondly sees that father deals with issues in a violent way, it’s described as negative fathering. Often the focus in the past has been on the mothering as she is usually the primary care giver at birth. Dad’s approach leaves him both hostile and no sense of other options to deal with disputes.

A key teaching in anger management is how to keep one’s autonomy and masculinity is disputes. Because the boy has been robbed of self esteem his belief is only when he is physically strong an uses it, he has power. The hard question is how does he keep his authority without using his fists? That’s what he has to figure out. Being drunk just makes it worse.

Source: EurekaAlert

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