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“I did it just for fun”: male understanding of groping

A man grabs woman’s breast or ass and squeezes, or even ‘accidentally’ brushing his hand there. He gets pleasure and assumes it’s OK to do this. He is surprised that she does not share  his enthusiasm or pleasure “I did it just for fun” he smiles dumbly or embarrassed, waiting for approval.

Some men in anger management make the assumption that  because he wants it, she wants it. A woman’s reaction to any unwanted advance  is likely to be quite the reverse. In many respects her reactions reflect the stages of grief. Her initial reaction will be disbelief and shock.”What the hell!” or  “This can’t be real” may go through her mind or she might be feel scared “What’s next?” Then she will go to anger “Get your hands off me” “Who  do think you are?”

217 groping #2






If she says anything she may question what should she say. She starts to bargain with herself. “Will anyone believe what’s just happened?” It becomes even worse if the man is higher up the ladder they will say “She’s been asking for it anyway” Then some form of depression. Often she will feel unclean and want to go and wash herself down  as a way of ridding herself of these feelings. When women are raped they take a bath or ahower. She wants to get away from the memory of the event and bury it in her mind.

Finally there will be some acceptance certainly an acknowledgement as to what happened to her and how she feels. Then she may keep it all to herself, still feeling  some shame or she may make a noise or comments that will force people to listen.

This is not what the guy had in mind and sadly “Does he care?”

Source: Star


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