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The destructive power of contempt


213 contempt

There are various signs of poison in a marriage which are important for in anger management to know. Defensiveness “It’s not my fault it‘s your fault. Stone walling, giving her the silent treatment is a common male practice. Being overly critical “You are a selfish bitch”. The final one is contempt for your partner implying she is inferior to you. If you hold your partner in disgust it can even affect their immune system. It eats away like sulfuric  acid, it corrodes love.

 

Masters of marriage don’t let this happen and if it does they make up very quickly as know how destructive it is. To want to make your partner inferior as a way of maintaining some sense of power is   a fool’s game. It cannot work. So often our clients come in with stories of total contempt regarding their partners. With that attitude they are surprised the cops were called in a domestic dispute. But how they hold their partner is the cause of the dispute. She doesn’t like it, it hurts, and all else that follows  will hurt her more.

The challenge is to learn to appreciate rather than criticize. That may be hard but if the man wants the relationship to work that’s what he has to do. As soon as he goes back to “Yes but she….” He  poisons the situation. Real power is learning to understand what you have to do to get what you want and then doing it.

Source: Psychology Today

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