What conversations go on the heads of angry people is not pretty. It’s all negative, one negative thought followed by another. A large percentage of our clients have low self esteem. Which means they have little positive to say about themselves and even less to say anything positive about other people.
A basic component in anger management is to get clients to be able to listen to themselves, some basic self awareness. How every good situation is turned upside down to be a problem somewhere. It’s bad enough they attack themselves but along with that they attack the rest of us, which is why they get in trouble.
Old habits die hard. For many it is the first time they have ever looked at themselves. And in doing so they find they don’t readily have the answers. Oh it’s easy to say “get over it” ‘Get positive” and think by saying it the recipient is going to roll over with gratitude all over their face. But he is full of resistance and responds negatively to those suggestions, moreover he has no idea why the idea sits so strongly inside his head. A more realistic reply is “I know what you are saying , but I can’t change and anyway there is this and there is that. ..”.
The journey begins with the first step. Listen! What do hear? Do you like that? What do think you can do? And see what happens.