Wisdom comes when we start to exercise some discernment between us alone and us in relation to the rest of the world. Those in anger management have not mastered this difference. It is all about having my needs met right now. It is an emotional response associated with oneself. The other part of our mind thinks beyond the immediate gratification to a longer term outcome. It asks “What do I really want?” and “What do I have to do to get it?” In a fight asking or looking at the wider implications brings two very different perspectives.
Very often a situation is approached from a negative standpoint. We look solely at what we don’t want. “Stop that you….”. In advertising it has been found that negative advertising has only limited effects. Quitting smoking doesn’t require looking at cancerous lungs on cigarette packages. Negative advertising was used by both sides in the last US election but the party that won , won because of what they stood for, not what they stood against.
We are motivated by what we want. Somehow that wisdom comes from hitting too may brick walls that eventually requires asking “Is my behavior getting me what I want?” A man with a series of failed relationships will either end up alone or live then die with one sick relationship after another. Always blaming the other person. If he gets wisdom he will start asking questions that take him out of isolation into contact with others. He has to use his thinking mind to move forward.