Some people have a knack at making us smile and others end up making us wince. In theory humor is a great stress reliever and lubricator to help people get along with each other and with life. When it works it works. When it doesn’t work it’s awful.
The gift of humor is learnt early in life, often as a way of making family dynamics flow more easily. We put together that script that can create a lighter side and it then becomes part of us.
In anger management often men crack jokes that they find funny but no one else laughs. They have a lot of hidden anger. When being the family joker occurs in conjunction with low self esteem the humor is often hurtful and is intended to wound somebody. People then use humor to feel good about themselves at other’s expense. listen to a sarcastic remark and see who are the winners and losers in the dialogue. Frequently the joker feels superior to others for being “clever”. He needs to ask what was the purpose of the joke? Who is he talking to? And why would they think him funny?
Their lack of self awareness inhibits their ability to know how well the joke went down. Women take offense more easily than men particularly if it’s about someone’s appearance or weight. Stay away from politics, from heavy topics and be careful if someone is being demeaned. Words travel fast with awkward repercussions. Used constructively humor can reduce tensions and bring people together if used wisely. When in doubt be silent.
Source: Workplace stress