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Being silent and knowing when to withdraw


A smart man knows when to keep his mouth shut. The following is sage advice; “No one has a finer command of language  than the person who keeps his mouth shut”.(Sam Rayburn)

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Men in anger management have a hard time doing that. Full of  anxiety, they must speak , they must over bear, they must have the last word. Silence on the other hand is a great way to keep control. In an awkward discussion  a sequence  can be to make an assertive statement, to get a comment back, to then reflect that comment back to the other person and then say nothing. Let the remark take time to sink in, let it hit home. Even when there can be some additional comeback say nothing. Be aware to how you feel, be aware as to how the other person is feeling. Appreciate what your body language is telling you and what is the other’s body language saying about them.

It is not easy to keep your mouth shut but gives you time to observe. If the other gets overly defensive say little and reflect that back. In some cases there is no point in saying anything. How important is the relationship? If it is a very nourishing relationship there is motive to work things out. If the relationship is too toxic there is little point in pushing too hard because where will it lead to in the longer run? Knowing which battles to fight and which ones to walk away from is a measurement of maturity. Ask yourself “Why do I need to win this?”

Source: Good Read

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