Anger management looks at Emotional Intelligence as a proven route in handling the problem. It requires men doing something that is new to them, to recognise our emotions and find the words to describe them. “I feel angry, lost disturbed, ecstatic”. Some emotions men don’t know how to manage and other s they find difficult to express. They need to learn how to regulate the different emotions, anger is the obvious one, but if they feel afraid or overjoyed do they feel free to express that or are they inhibited for some reason? When agitated the first line of defense is to calm and soothe the feelings otherwise agitation leads to explosion. Where can they learn to reflect and develop that capacity which gives them time to make smart decisions. Event happen so quickly that we need time to make sense of them.
Eventually there are patterns that can be observed. “I always get angry when..” “When she uses that tone I get tied in knots, I don’t know why but I always do” As we recognize our own patterns we begin to recognise other people’s. When we see them for what they are often it is predictable what is going to happen. This knowledge gives us power.
Emotions are fundamental to the human makeup. The tragedy is we are not taught how to use them to our advantage. They always get used against us by ourselves and by others. Emotional intelligence is an innate quality we all have and it’s essential to come to grips with that for our emotional survival.
Source: Keral Egan