About just under half of the clients we have in anger management have alcohol related issues. Many cannot remember their incident of what happened as they were in a black out. Some groups don’t want alcohol included in domestic abuse cases as they think if the man has a drinking problem it automatically allows him to abuse. The distinction is made that alcoholism is not a choice and abuse is a choice. Both in fact are choices.
Abuse and alcoholism have similar roots. The underlying causes commenced in early childhood, there were environments of alcoholic abuse by the parents so it was a learned behavior. With that were serious attachment and safety issues where there might not have been alcohol but the boy developed alcohol dependency as a result of not being able to cope with life. They have trusts issues. The boy probably witnessed his dad mistreating his mother. If life is a permanent struggle their mood is one of tension, alcohol provides relaxation, but it also allows for pent rage to come out as the social brakes are dis-inhibited with alcohol.
When there is tension the man feels threatened. Alcohol gives him a false sense of power. It is easy to exercise that power over his partner. She becomes the focus of his frustrations. We say until they have dealt with their alcohol issues it is a waste of time dealing with the abuse, as when they get drunk again there is nothing to stop them getting them violent.
Source: About Alcoholism