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Losing strategies: being right


We often hear from the men in anger management of the need to be right. They sometimes feel their honour is at stake if they don’t get their way. There is nothing wrong in being right if that is more important than the relationship, however one cannot have a happy relationship and being right at the same time.

165 always-right-never-wrong

When someone is right all they do is reiterate their basic position over and over. This drives the other partner crazy as they must feel their own words are meaningless. They have to win their point. The relationship is a win/lose proposition. A man needs to ask what’s in it for the woman to be in a relationship where if he is constantly having to win and  that means she is constantly wrong.

A relationship implies nurturing the other. Again there can be no nurturing when one has to be right. Moreover it  then becomes painful for both sides, she is miserable because she is always wrong and he is constantly frustrated by not having her agree with him. It then becomes a power play This is a great recipe for marital discord.

A step back could be instead of saying “Your wrong” say “I am mad that you won’t agree with me” That may lead to resolution which being self righteous will never happen. Or if she won’t agree just say “OK” there will always be another day

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