Another cultural issue trial and conviction of a drama ending in a violent death. About one third of our clients in anger management are immigrants. They come to a western country full of expectation of a new and wonderful life. It would appear what the man is expecting is very different from the woman. The probable motivation for a better life means for the man more money, more prestige, just more of what he used to be .Unfortunately this can mean as far as living his private life that nothing else will change, he will keep his position of unchallenged authority so domestically it will be business as usual.
While an improved standard of living is important for his wife, she may have ambitions to free herself of what she sees as an oppressive domestic lifestyle. Women see an equality unheard of in their native country and easily shift into wanting to Westernise ASAP. He is unable to accept this. Change means weakness or embarrassment. He goes into a rigid “No Change” space leading to an inevitable clash of values.
When asked as to why the values might be different the men in anger management often don’t have an answer. With tunnel vision there is no flexibility. Their life is seen as collapsing and they have no ability to assimilate. Killing her is a natural response to her perceived unnatural acts. The real education is to explore the men’s fears that can’t handle a woman’s independence. And to re-iterate the rules here are different.
Source: National Post