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Gender Roles, Marriage and Anger

Many men in anger  management complain about their wives nagging them and a cause of their friction. But it is useful to ask: why are these women so upset? A study of comparison between same sex couples versus heterosexual relationships show that tasks and roles in the relationship are defined very differently.

In most straight marriages even if both parties work out of the home, the woman does more work in the home compared to the man. She does more tasks, she does more organizing, she also is expected to manage the relationship. In a same sex marriage this is not the case, Jobs are divided more equally, responsibilities seem to be more automatically shared, and the running of the relationship is also equally shared.

What are the  effects on each partner? Many women are semi -permanently angry in a straight relationship as they feel it is unfair that they do more in the relationship than the man. It might be a useful exercise for a couple to list who does what and see if there is fifty fifty balance or a more lopsided balance. Or even more dangerous for the man to ask the woman whether she is happy or not so happy the way things are run. It might not be a friendly answer but it might provide clues as to why she is pissed off.

Source: NY TIMES


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